Are You Amazing?

Swiss Army nail clippers THIS ONE JPEG

*Disclaimer: There is no such tool in real life as a Swiss Army nail clippers, but I wish there were.

Can you hush a crying baby instantly? Play a piece of music perfectly after hearing it only once? Know immediately what is making that weird noise under the hood of your car? Throw any old rag on your back and look like a picture-perfect model? Is there some talent or skill you are especially good at that you like to wow people with? Here are a couple of mine:

I can steer a canoe. I mean I don’t just think I can, I can really do it. Once during my dating days I went on a canoe trip with someone who claimed he was an expert steersman. He paddled us in circles and got us stuck on a sandbar in the middle of a highly polluted river. I had to get out and push us off, and I don’t know why that filthy river water didn’t dissolve my feet on contact. After I escaped from both the canoe and the date I vowed that if I ever got into a canoe again, I would be the one doing the steering.

I can do anything with a nail clippers. It functions as my own cheap Swiss Army knife. I can unknot a hopelessly knotted shoelace. I can untangle the worst tangle in the chain of a necklace. I can perform minor surgery on hangnails, skin tags, and hanging scabs. With an ordinary, everyday nail clipper I can leap the tallest building at a single bound. It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s me and my nail clippers!

I can type on a keyboard while holding a conversation with the person standing in front of me. Now, I don’t tend to do this every day because it freaks people out, but I can continue to type, accurately, while carrying on a completely rational conversation. When challenged to repeat what that person just said I can give them chapter and verse, and it blows their mind. I do feel smug about this special ability, but like I said, I don’t do it very often, and sometimes I get the feeling that people would feel more comfortable about it if I weren’t able to do it quite so well.

So, I’m asking you, what are your special skills and talents? The world wants to know!

About Julia French

Writer of contemporary horror fiction.
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